When wellness culture becomes toxic…

Before I was a trainer and coach, I was a mom who was chasing around kids and helping with homework and cleaning house. You know the drill, right?

My interest in nutrition got started after the birth of my last daughter, when I was diagnosed with Hashimoto’s disease. Hashimoto’s disease is an autoimmune disorder that can cause hypothyroidism, or underactive thyroid. With this disease, your immune system attacks your thyroid. The thyroid becomes damaged and can’t make enough thyroid hormones.. Symptoms can range from tiredness to weight gain, joint and muscle pain, trouble tolerating cold, and even thinning hair. My hair was falling out in droves and while I wasn’t gaining weight, I sure as heck couldn’t lose any either. I was tired of messing around with medications and I wasn’t even convinced that I actually needed to take them and my doctor suggested that I try a vegan lifestyle. “If you go vegan you won’t ever have to worry about your weight again.”

Like the perfectionist that I was, I entered the rabbit hole of elimination diets that, while well-intended, catapulted me into a world of wellness that took over my mental energies. When the vegan lifestyle didn’t magically get me back to my pre-pregnancy weight or stop my hair from falling out, I started looking at other things that might help. If the Lemonade Cleanse could work for Beyonce, I figured it could work for me too. It didn’t do anything but add more stress to my marriage and relationships.

I threw everything wellness had at my body—maca powder, spirulina, raw food, bone broth, Shakeology, and an arsenal of the purest, most expensive vitamins and supplements available to me. I cringe just remembering the crazy bottles of pills and powders and shakes…ugh.

According to the wellness industry, I was healthier than I had ever been but I don’t think my stress levels had ever been so high. The demands of keeping up with the lifestyle were suffocating, and the fear of not meeting expectations took up more brain space than motherhood. I continued to struggle for years as I kept trying new products and ideas and really just trying to be the healthiest mom that I could be.

And then my marriage fell apart and I started bingeing again.

Interestingly, my history of the binge-restrict cycle had gone dormant during this period of “Wellness.”. I thought I had it beat. I was working out and “eating right” and I had it together. What I know now is that the mental energy required to maintain an eating disorder born of Diet Culture (which centers around controlling food and body in the name of thinness) had simply rerouted into the mental energy required to maintain orthorexia, the eating disorder born of Wellness Culture (which centers around controlling food and body in the name of health).

Orthorexia is sometimes referred to as the newest eating disorder, and often goes undetected because it is easily regarded as just being “really healthy,” and is actually admired and applauded rather than seen for its detriment to mental health and well-being. Orthorexia is another way that disordered eating passes as the cultural norm, because it is virtue-stamped by wellness culture.

When the binges returned, it threw me for a loop. I responded with further restriction, initiated in the name of intermittent fasting or a cleanse, but was ultimately driven by the fear that I might gain back the weight I had lost through so many elimination diets.

My body, not one to be fooled, responded by increasing my binge urges, as bodies are designed to do.

For the next couple of years, I maintained the front of a “healthy” trainer while secretly battling the inner demons of bulimia, binge eating, and orthorexia. What I can assure you of here is that I was not alone. Many of the coaches I have talked to throughout my journey have struggled with disordered eating, all while showing their IG followers the food they eat in a day, just to maintain their golden health halo.

Slowly, I began to recognize my obsession with health and wellness as another manifestation of my obsession with weight, living under the same disordered umbrella. What had once felt like a “way out” of disordered eating unveiled itself as another diet dressed in fancy clothing. The bottom line was the same: rigid rule-following, good vs bad mentality, high levels of discipline and control, and oppression of the haves vs have-nots.

The realization alone wasn’t enough to “cure” me, but once I saw it, I couldn’t unsee it. For a while I waffled between embracing my “wellness” ideas and just rejecting certain parts of them, because there were some nutritional benefits that still made sense to me. Eventually, I came to see that my involvement was too messy and I needed to get away from it altogether.

It took me more than a year to go through this process and come out on the other side. After a year of allowing all foods, with minimal consideration of their caloric or health virtues, I finally began to experience what it feels like to be well.

Wellness, now, is something I understand in a different way than is currently marketed to us. While some level of nutrition and exercise remain part of my routine, I have also learned to appreciate the importance of rest, good food, joy, socializing, and creativity as pieces of a much larger wellness package. There is no “look” to being Well. You do not need visible abs or green juices to be healthy.

As a society, I think we have lost touch with the human capacity to be well via basic routes like eating when we are hungry, stopping when we are full, moving in ways that feel good, resting when we’re tired, and finding joy in the moments we share with one another. There is a simplicity that is often overlooked and yet incredibly powerful.

Laughing is wellness.
Doing what you love is wellness.
Enjoying your food, accepting your body, and finding self-compassion are wellness.

If your nutrition supports your physical and mental health, it can be a building block to feeling well. However, if you think that your interest in nutrition has turned into an obsession that feels more like fear, it’s probably worth getting curious about. There is help available so please don’t hesitate to reach out to informed doctors, therapists, registered dieticians, and coaches to explore your symptoms further and get support. NEDA is a great resource and place to start if you don’t know where to begin. You aren’t alone…I swear.

How to Find Your Why

I have been consistent with one thing in my life every week for the last two years. I guess you could say it has now become a well-established habit.

Creating a new habit is never easy.

By now, most people have probably read or heard that it takes around 21 days to create a habit. We are finding that it actually takes just a bit longer than 21 days but the premise remains the same…consistency.

“It’s not what we do once in a while that shapes our lives. It’s what we do consistently.” ― Anthony Robbins

“I’ve learned from experience that if you work harder at it, and apply more energy and time to it, and more consistency, you get a better result. It comes from the work.” – Louis C.K.

“We are what we repeatedly do. Excellence then is not is not an act but a habit” – Aristotle

The One Word to Focus On

Implementing a new consistent behavior that you hope will lead to a life-changing habit can make you feel like a fish swimming upstream. You’re constantly fighting the current of your own mind as you work to establish this habit. Most of us would rather the habit fairy show up and magically leave the habit under our pillow. We want it all and we want it now.

I have noticed a common thread when it comes to implementing new habits either with myself or clients. We tend to focus on the “how” or the “what we need to do” when it comes to swimming up the habit stream. By focusing on the “how” we overlook the most important question…

In the beginning I mentioned that I have a habit that I have been doing for the past two years. Every day, I write down 3 things that I am grateful for. I realize how simple this sounds but it has truly helped to reframe my outlook and helps me to feel more positive each day. I read once that it’s easier for us to remember the negative stuff that happens and I believe that is true. Think about it, how easy is it to remember the bad stuff that happened yesterday or the day before? That kind of stuff comes straight to mind, doesn’t it? On the flip side, it feels harder to remember all the good so when I began the practice of writing, it was because I wanted to change my attitude. I wanted to be a more positive person.

One benefit to me recalling and writing down the good things that happen is that I get to relive those experiences. It brings the smile right back to my face and I can feel a warmth and happiness as I think about each different thing. In addition, over time, my brain has been trained to look for (and find!) the good in my daily encounters. I have found that now I work less at the looking and I spend more time in the enjoyment of each moment. That’s pretty awesome, you know?

Coach Stevo of Habitry said this about creating habits in a Facebook discussion:

So the most important thing to know about habit-formation, is that if we want to deliberately form new habits, we have to use a completely different mental process. We have to ponder, plan, and prepare. We have to rely on some motivation and spend our willpower wisely. We have to set some goals and we have to learn a heaping dose of self-awareness.

Self-awareness

Finding your why forces you to become more self-aware of your own desires, passions, and principles. Once you are able to become more aware of these it will help you to (as Stevo said above) “use a completely different mental process.”

So ask yourself, “why will this habit make me a better ________?”

Start with only one thing you want to become more consistent with, something that truly matters and answers your “why”. Whether this habit be establishing a workout routine, cooking more, eating more veggies, reading for 20 minutes a day, getting up earlier, being a more attentive partner with your significant other, meditating, no matter what the habit may be if you establish an emotional connection to WHY you are doing this, then you are more likely to maintain the habit long term.

Once you have answered the, “why”, now you can focus more on the “how”.

How to Build a Habit

Below are some tips, which can help you with the “how” part of habit creation:

1. Sticky Notes: Stick those things everywhere that you spend a majority of your time, asking you if you have completed your new daily habit.

2. Put it before another habit you already have: Are you already good at brushing your teeth but want to start reading at night? Put a book in front of wherever you store your toothbrush and each time you go to brush your teeth you will see the book which will help you to remember to read. Perhaps you struggle with eating more veggies in your diet. Put those green stalks of broccoli or containers of spring mix in the front of the fridge. That way you have to pull them out first before anything else.

3. Start simple and small: Add one extra piece of a vegetable to breakfast or lunch or dinner, start with two minutes of exercise a day, look in the mirror and say one nice thing about yourself, set your alarm to go off one-minute earlier than before. You don’t need to move a mountain here, just one pebble at a time. That’s it. Then you can build from there.

4. Visualize: Professional athletes admit to using it all the time when they mentally rehearse themselves performing a play in their heads and later executing the same or similar play. When you visualize, picture yourself successfully performing the action each day. You can picture it multiple times throughout the day to help further engrain it into your psyche.

Habit LEGOs

Creating a consistent behavior or habit does not need to be something overly complicated and difficult. Make it as simple and as “cheap” on effort as you can. If eating better is hard for you, start by adding one serving of vegetables to dinner, then progress that to another meal and so on. If you have a problem finding time or inspiration to exercise then set a goal of climbing one flight of stairs every day for a week, or park one spot further from the building you work in each day. Want to get your day started earlier, so you can get more work done? Set your alarm to go off two minutes prior to your normal time and slowly increase that each week.

You don’t need to move the entire mountain at one time.

Find one (small) thing and focus your effort on that. Make it the easiest task that you can be consistent with each day that has meaning to you and ask yourself WHY you need to do it instead of looking for HOW to do it.

The ONLY Motivating Factor

WHY is the motivating factor. Once you figure out the WHY it becomes far easier to start an action. WHY do you need to start working out? WHY is losing weight really important?

The how is significant but the WHY is the driver of action. Just start the habit and stumble along the way.

As Leo Babauta stated in this post:

“Actually doing the habit is much more important than how much you do.”

Habits are far easier to create and maintain once we establish an emotional connection to them and make them personal to ourselves. Once you answer “why” you need to implement the consistent behavior or habit in your life, you’ll find that you execute the habit far more successfully.

Don’t worry too much about having it all figured out right now. Just get started because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

2 Simple Strategies To Transform Your Life

When you decide to start a new project or plan, does any of this sound familiar? You make a nice, long to-do list with an ambitious number of tasks and strategies. Then one of two things tends to happen. Sometimes you get off to a great start, but after a few days life starts to get crazy and things fizzle out a bit. Other times it’s difficult to even get started – life feels overwhelming and you just can’t seem to get any traction.

It turns out there are a couple reasons for this, and it boils down to two main issues: self-control exhaustion and decision paralysis. The book Switch by Chip & Dan Heath encourages simplifying choices to allow for change to happen. When obstacles interfere with your desire to change, we default to the familiar (comfortable) path and wonder why it’s so difficult to find a new one.

Self-control exhaustion

A group of college students were told they were participating in a study about “food perception”. Researchers really wanted to test how exercising self control affects the brain. Students were led to a room with plates of warm cookies (they smelled amazing) and radishes. Half the group was asked to eat radishes but no cookies, while the other half was asked to eat 2-3 cookies but no radishes. They were left alone in the room while they ate, and all of the radish-eaters exercised willpower and refused to give in to the cookie temptation.

Next, researchers asked them to participate in a supposedly unrelated study — finding out if high school or college students were better at solving problems. They presented a series of puzzles to solve. The secret was that the puzzles were unsolvable. The “untempted” students who were able to eat the cookies spent 19 minutes on the puzzles (34 total attempts) before giving up. The radish-eaters spent only 8 minutes (19 attempts) before throwing in the towel.

Psychologists have discovered that we can actually run out of self-control. And it’s not just the self-control we use to resist cookies, it’s any time you have to be more careful or deliberate with your words and actions. Think of assembling a piece of furniture, having a difficult conversation, or learning something new — all times where our behavior tends to be more controlled. Contrast that with the “auto-pilot” feeling of driving a very familiar route or making the same breakfast you’ve eaten for 10 years.

Decision Paralysis

Physician Donald Redelmeier and psychologist Eldar Shafir collaborated to study how doctors make decisions. They presented the case of an elderly patient with chronic hip pain who had not responded to pain medication. Doctors were given the choice of invasive surgery or one medication the patient hadn’t yet tried. 47% chose the medication to spare the patient from surgery. Here’s where it gets interesting – doctors were presented with the same case, but 3 options (surgery, or two untried medications). In this scenario, only 28% chose to try one of the medications.

What happened? Why did more doctors recommend surgery when given additional options? Experts call it decision paralysis. When we’re presented with more choices, we can become unable to choose. In this case, we tend to revert to the default plan. For these doctors, the default plan tended to be surgery.

The same scenario replays itself again and again:
– Shoppers presented with 6 different jams were 10 times more likely to purchase than those who were given 24 jam options.
– For every ten 401(k) investment options offered to employees, participation is reduced by 2%
– In speed dating, participants who met 8 singles were more likely to “match” than those who met 20 singles.

This decision paralysis is compounded by the exhaustion caused by repeated attempts to exercise self-control. When we are stressed and exhausted, we return to the status quo. The Heath brothers concluded that what looks like laziness is often exhaustion, and what looks like resistance (to change) is often lack of clear direction.

So how do we overcome this two-headed monster to affect real change in our lives? In the short term, we can simplify our choices to eliminate decision paralysis. And in the long term, we can work to develop those choices into habits. When choices become habits, they become “auto-pilot” actions and require less self control.

1. Simplify your choices

Instead of making a long list of tasks and changes for your new plan or project, focus on one or two key actions. Don’t aim for perfection, aim for “better”. Give yourself clear direction, or find someone who can help with this.

Eliminate decision paralysis and set yourself up for success by minimizing your choices and setting a clear path forward.

2. Establish habits

Take those one or two key actions and set yourself up for success by making them “no-brainers”. If you’re trying to remember to take your fish oil every day, set it right next to your coffee maker so you don’t even have to think about it. Find ways to turn decisions that require self-control into auto-pilot actions that don’t tax your willpower and exhaust your resolve. You’ve got this!!

Watching for the bus or waiting for squirrels?

In his book Fat Loss Happens on Monday, Dan John recounts an article written by his former boss, Archbishop George Niederauer. It’s called “A Tale of Two Benches”, and in it he’s talking about our expectations of God, but the analogy is also true for nutrition and fitness.

Imagine waiting for a bus that’s supposed to arrive at 11:06. You get there at 11:00, sit on the bench, and wait for 11:06. If the bus doesn’t arrive at 11:06, you’re getting nervous. By 11:15, you’re in full-on panic and your day is not going well.

Alternatively, think of sitting at a park bench during your lunch hour to sit, listen, and observe. You’re not waiting, you’re just sitting. You may see some squirrels, you may not. But you’re not going to freak out if they don’t show up.

What’s the difference between these two benches? The bus bench represents the times you do what you think you’re supposed to do and you expect (demand) a result. There are times where this is appropriate. You put in your 40 hours a week, and you expect a paycheck.

But for most of us, for most of the time, the park-bench model is a more sustainable and enjoyable way to live. When we approach life, nutrition, training, what-have-you, in a way that is appreciative of what comes rather than demanding, we’re able to achieve some balance that the bus bench model just doesn’t offer.

Let’s apply the analogy to good nutrition and movement. The bus-bench model says, “I’m going to weigh and measure my food and eat exactly what I’m being told to help me lose fat. Then I will step on the scale and if I don’t get results, I will be frustrated and defeated.”

The park-bench model says, “I’m going to find more vegetables and lean proteins that I enjoy eating, and fix them in a way that tastes good to me and satisfies me. I’m going to engage in intentional movement today because it improves my mood and makes me feel better. Eventually, that will result in leanness, but I will also get a short-term payoff in lots of other areas.”

Dan John says, “…let things happen and don’t judge them as good or bad. Enjoy the opportunity to train and eat well.” That’s the park bench. It doesn’t mean you can’t have goals and work toward them with the expectation that eventually your work will pay off. It just means that if you can find a way to enjoy the journey, it’s a more sustainable and balanced strategy that will serve you well over the years, not just a few weeks.

Practically speaking, what does this look like?

1. Get a few new vegetables, or some tried-and-true options that you know you like. Bring them home, wash them, cut them, and put them on the main shelves of the fridge (not in the drawers where they’re hidden from view). If it’s ready to go and more visible, you’re more likely to choose well. Have quality food on hand, and make the choice to eat it.

2. Prepare your proteins ahead of time, too. I don’t like to cook every night, so my favorite method is to just double (or triple) dinner prep. When there’s tasty, cooked protein in the fridge that I just have to heat or chop for a salad, I’m much more likely to use it.

3. Find exercises and activities that you love. Stop trying to figure out which type of exercise will burn the most fat. Think about what you love to do and do more of it. For overall health and longevity you’ll want to include some type of strength training or resistance exercise to your regimen, but the foundation of your exercise plan should be activities that give you energy, things you can’t wait to do again. Why? Because the best type of exercise is the exercise you’ll actually do. You can design the best fat burning program ever (or have one designed for you), but if you’re not doing it because you’re injured, bored, or burned out, it’s no good.

4. Find your tribe. Whether your support comes in person or online, we all need folks in our corner who challenge and support us. Don’t try to be a lone wolf — celebrating your small (and big) wins with others brings more of that human connection, and is proven to motivate you to stick with it. Don’t have a tribe? We’d love to have you in ours.

5 Ways To Get More Protein

It’s probably the question that I get asked the most. “How can I get more protein in my diet?” After choking down yet another dry chicken breast, it’s enough to make you wonder what jerk decided we all need more protein. Here are five great strategies for getting it in with minimal effort.

Strategy #1: Base each of your meals and snacks around a protein source.

By adding just 15-20 grams of protein to a couple of meals each day, those numbers will stack up very quickly! Feel like eating fruit salad with some granola? Yum! Add some Greek yogurt mixed with whey protein to it and make a parfait. Craving a fresh, crunchy salad? Go for it, but mix in a can of tuna or some pre-cooked chicken. Top either of those meals with some avocado and you’ll get an extra little kick of healthy fats, too.

Strategy #2: Use fat sources that are also packed with protein.

Need to add some fats to your meals? Opt for things like peanut butter, cheese or even mixed nuts over foods like butter and oil. Nuts and dairy are a delicious combination of fat and protein. While I wouldn’t recommend getting the bulk of your protein from these options (I love PB as much as the next person, but there is such a thing as too much!), they will help to round out your diet a bit better. Oil or butter gives you roughly 10 grams of fat per serving, but doesn’t provide you with any protein. But the same amount of fat from peanut butter would also give you 5-6 grams of protein, and cheese would provide 7-8 grams of protein. Who said peanut butter couldn’t get any better??

Strategy #3: Increase your protein portion sizes.

If you’re someone who usually fills their plate with veggies and carbs while including protein as an afterthought, switch it up! Instead of having a single chicken breast, have two. When you’re cooking up a couple of eggs, add ½ cup of egg whites as well. Turning your 2-3 ounce protein serving into 4-6 ounces will not only bump up your daily protein numbers, it will also keep you feeling full and satisfied for a little longer before your next meal.

Strategy #4: Mix and match your protein sources.

Who said protein has to be boring? If you don’t like the idea of eating THAT much chicken or steak, then don’t! Think of classic combinations like bacon & eggs, smoked salmon omelets, or surf & turf. Adding some shrimp or scallops to your steak dinner will add extra protein along with some variety and more flavor, and pairing chicken breast with ham in a big salad would be perfect too.

Strategy #5: Always be prepared.

This can be applied to all aspects of meal planning but if you struggle to find protein-heavy snacks, or your work vending machines don’t really cater to your protein requirements, then have some backups. Keeping things like protein bars, small containers of protein powder or packets of tuna in your bag or desk drawer will go a long way to hitting those protein numbers! Get creative!

Use your smile to change the world

In a movie you might remember from the 90s, Robin Willams plays a budding physician. He conducts an experiment to see how smiling and/or saying “Hi”, even to strangers, changes everything. It begs the question – how does your day change when someone is kind to you? How can you make someone else’s day better?

In the big world of fitness, wellness, nutrition, and athletics, there is a central, underlying theme that says we should never become satisfied with our current state. We are constantly striving – to be better, leaner, faster, stronger, prettier, healthier. On the opposite end of the spectrum is an evolving trend exclaiming, “Love yourself!” At its most extreme, it implies that whatever you eat, however you eat it, whatever your habits or exercise practices (or lack thereof), the world should accept and embrace you. Between these extremes are the shamers and critics. So who’s got it right?

The real question isn’t who’s right or wrong, it’s this: Are you happy with yourself? Our justifications, in some degree, are really just criticisms. They are subtle, passive-aggressive digs at the beliefs and positions of others (and your own as well). They are a battle cry to get someone off their bandwagon and on to yours.

Consider this. When you are happy with yourself, there is no need to criticize, or dig, or rally cry at someone else, or at yourself. Perhaps, in this great debate on what to eat, how to eat, where to eat, when to eat, what to do, how to look, etc., when you are happy with yourself (regardless of diet, physical appearance, or activity level), you exude security, confidence, and inspiration. Because of those qualities, you don’t react with justifications.

I’m speaking to myself as much as anyone else — I tend to be a fairly confident person but sometimes I feel like I need to participate in these types of justifications. In my role as a trainer, I need to impart wisdom and guidance while being constructively supportive. I want most for my clients to know that they aren’t alone and that I am here to help because this maximizes the likelihood that they will achieve success.

What would it be like to live in a world where everyone was happy with themselves? I can only control myself, but I can influence others by finding balance in myself and exhibiting it. I may think my food choices or habits are better than someone else’s, but I can maintain my happiness and balance while inspiring change in others by learning to be content with my choices no matter what my goals or ambitions are. Our goals and ideals have been skewed by social media, TV, and magazines anyway —and chasing an unrealistic goal you can never achieve will never bring happiness!

This next week, make a point to smile, be enthusiastic, and be supportive. If you do this five times more than you would have normally, give yourself a reward (one that doesn’t sabotage another goal!). If, at the end of the week, you’ve hit your objective every day, have a bigger reward planned. This strategy, called Behavior Change, works in wonderful ways to make progress with a variety of behaviors and habits. But more importantly, see how you feel at the end of the week. Look at how you have progressed with your other goals. What has changed in your social and family circles? Do you notice a broader change? Imagine if everyone did this every day. Not only would it become an easy habit, the world might be a brighter place!

Improve your day with this one 30-second habit!

I have been a planner for as long as I can remember. I like making lists and having a plan and seeing exactly what I have coming up on any given day. I know a lot of people use the calendar in their phone and they love it but I prefer good old paper and a pen. I am currently loving the Commit 30 planner found here and I wanted to share something with you that I truly believe has helped me with improving focus and productivity. I’m currently building a business, keeping up with two teens and virtual learning, navigating Covid, and trying to keep on top of my own personal goals (continuing my education and making my workouts a priority), so I’ve got a lot of balls in the air. 

“I am strong.”

I have tried several different planners in the past and one of the things that I have gotten hooked on is a morning affirmation. Now don’t get me wrong, I am a firm believer in affirmations no matter what time of day but I specifically love being able to write down an affirmation every morning in my planner. I know, I know, it sounds hokey at first but stick with me here. At first, I didn’t know what to write and I definitely felt silly doing it but I decided just to try. So I wrote, “I am strong.” Later that day, during my workout,  I remembered what I wrote and I smiled. That tiny little image was just what I needed to push a little harder. 

“I am strong. I am smart. I am resilient.”

I continued to add a little bit each day to my affirmation. It might seem silly but after a few days of thinking it and writing it down and reading it again before bed...I really started to feel it. It was something I hadn’t felt in a really long time and it felt good. Recently I’ve added the word “resilient” to my affirmation and I find that I am reminded throughout my day when things go awry, that I am capable of handling whatever life throws at me. 

What’s your affirmation? What are you telling yourself everyday when you face adversity? I promise you, a little progress each day can change your mindset and add up to some pretty powerful results!

Coping with Change

When you hear the words, “Let’s talk about some changes that need to happen,” does your stomach clench as tight as mine does? Does your mind whirl with crazy thoughts? – “What if I can’t do this?” “What if I fail?” “I really don’t want to think about change right now. I have enough on my plate.”

Well, the truth is we cannot move forward without change! How many times have we kept doing the same thing over and over again expecting different results? Change helps us to grow and forces us to adapt in ways we probably never thought we could.

Why is change so uncomfortable? For most of us, change can be stressful because, as humans, we do not deal well with the unknown or the possibility of failure.

Here are some ways to cope with the discomfort of change.

• Embrace failure. Expect to fail at new things. Let it be a part of your journey as you find what works for you. I read something once that said we should actively TRY to fail at something every single day because failing means we are trying something new. This can be something as simple as a new recipe or a new shade of lipstick, just apply the knowledge you gain and keep moving. Heck, it might even be fun!

• Be willing to go backward in order to go forward. Success is not linear. An example of this includes temporary weight gain from an increase in carbs or losing some strength as you drop the weight to correct your form. If your mind knows that change is a part of the process, it is easier to rationalize and keep moving forward.

• Set small action goals. Big goals are overwhelming for most people. Break them up into small stepping-stones that will keep you going on your path. If you want to run a 5k, set a goal of running 1 mile. Does running one mile feel overwhelming? Then start with walking it and add in some short run intervals. The key is to just start. Once you accomplish a small goal, you can move on to the next stepping-stone feeling a whole lot more confident!

• Realize that you are capable of handling difficulty. Think about a time in your past when you did something you never thought you could do. See? You are strong enough to handle tough things. I know it’s cliche but you’ve managed to survive 100% of your worst days and you’re doing great. Let’s keep going!

Empower yourself this holiday season!

Well my friends, the holiday season is upon us, and it brings out lots of emotions regarding food. Regardless of how you view the holidays, this is an emotionally charged time. Finding gifts, stressing over money, making food, seeing family, and attending parties can leave us feeling overwhelmed even on a “good” year. Factor in this pandemic this year and I think many of us can also relate to some feelings of loneliness, sadness, and isolation.

So many questions flood our heads: Did I eat too much? Too little? Am I hungry? How hungry? Can I get away with eating cookies without gaining weight? Should I go to that party? How many people will be there? What’s considered “safe” this year? Where’s the wine? Did I eat enough? Am I stuffed? Is this gluten free? Vegan? Why is this so freaking hard?

Here’s the thing… it’s really important to note the way you approach things. Learning to eat more intuitively means you have to stop approaching all food and food related activities like you are on a diet. Our perspective with the word “DIET” is generally negative. We feel restricted, guilty, deprived, and resentful the moment we hear it. Change starts first in the mind and requires a change in your perspective. Perspective is the way you view situations, ideas, and experiences. It is your mental and emotional outlook as it relates to your life. A change in perspective generally brings about a new way of dealing with situations. Allowing yourself to practice and make mistakes leads to new knowledge about how you can best cope with situations.

Empower yourself this holiday season. Determine what you want to do and be specific. Don’t get overwhelmed with too many questions and things you want to change at once. Pick one thing and be clear about it.

Here is a practical example: Attending your family party, which is a party with appetizers, dinner, drinks, and desserts.

Old perspective: Stress over all the food and alcohol that will be there. You generally skip lunch and go to the party really hungry. You also know that once you start drinking, you also start eating more.

New perspective: I know that alcohol makes me eat more so I choose not to drink at this party. I will drink some of Aunt Mary’s homemade alcohol free wassail. No more skipping meals. I will eat something healthy if I get hungry before I go.

The next step is to practice – put it in action. See how you do. Then afterwards, check in with yourself and ask what you can do better next time. Make any necessary adjustments and give yourself some extra grace and love as you continue to practice. This type of shift can take some time to figure out but it will be something that you can apply to many different functions throughout the years to come. You are absolutely worth it!

Finding Balance

How’s your balance?

Recently I was talking with a friend and I realized how different my priorities are these days. I no longer care to spend hours in the gym lifting the heaviest weights I can. I’m not trying to be a “beast” anymore. Sure, I want to be fit and strong and healthy but that’s the extent of it.

I want to be able to do things like shoveling snow, or carrying the Christmas tree up from the basement, or chasing around my young grandchildren. I used to spend a lot of time chasing PRs and trying to increase my weights every week but it’s just not where I want to spend my time and energy anymore. If that’s your jam, I salute you! Get em, girl!

But if you’re struggling with trying to balance kids and work and laundry and cooking and you-name-it, and feeling defeated because you just can’t lift like you used to, please give yourself a break. Take a moment to think about what really matters to you now and find a way to make that happen more often. If that’s a deadlift PR, sweet! If you’re involved in a sport and want to increase your performance there, tailor your training and don’t feel pressured to compete with your former self (or anyone else). If it’s just being stronger and better to handle whatever life throws at you, think about the best way to do that.

What gets you up in the morning? What motivates you to be stronger and better? Where do you need to find more balance in your life? Take some time to think about it because YOU ARE WORTH IT!!

(Photo credit to Ralf Kunze from Pixabay)